Clearly the most pivotal learning experience I have had was that as farm wife. I met and married a farmer ten years older than me who also had five children ages 14, 13, 9, 4, and 4 (twins). It was so exciting - wide open spaces, big sky, tractors, garden, dogs, green wheat, a kitchen, and a big house.

Things became less glamorous when the rain didn't come, my new husband became grouchy - constantly, the two oldest, girls, began to resent me - deeply, hail came, the market sank, fuel prices rose, and the septic system needed to be pumped.

Somehow I survived - and my husband and I will celebrate 22 years of married bliss and agony this fall. We no longer farm, and that may have saved our marriage. My husband retired twelve years ago and went back to school to earn both a bachelor's degree and a master's degree. This was after child number 6 came along.

I learned to work, I learned to cook, I learned to be flexible, to have thick skin, yet to strive for gentleness, and to know that whatever burden is inflicting itself, will be lifted, or that I will become stronger and able to endure it.